Arizona Green Tea Bedroom

My daughter wanted her room painted differently. We moved in about 5 years ago and I painstakingly painted each kids room exactly how they wanted. They are really cool rooms! But she was in the third grade then, and now she’s 13 in the eighth. Even I have to admit the room was too young and princessy for her. Jazz's Old Room

But, for the past three years, I had a crappier paying job than I had when we moved in and I couldn’t afford our bills, let alone to re-do her room. But now I have the best job ever, and I have more time and money to do things, so I asked her how she wanted her room done. All I could say to her response was:

Not ImpressedReally?

 

Arizona Green Tea. That. Was her answer.

And so it began.

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And the finale!!! At least for the mural part…

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As if that wasn’t enough, we decided that the carpet in her room needs to go! So we did this!

 

This is some serious girl power! Tomorrow we lay down the laminate and we will feel like the baddest bitches in town! Please hit me up if you want to commission a mural of your own! Maybe a giant Sun Rise Sushi Logo or your favorite sports team logo in the living room! Er, uhhh, I mean the man cave?  Go to my Murals page for pricing. Updates on the floor soon to come!

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Waiting on the Other Side

  Are you there? 

On the other side?

Watching me? Waiting?

I’m lonely.

Slowly returning to normalcy.

No longer hiding and scared.

Still can’t eat much.

Can’t sit down much.

I walk around sighing

playing with my hair

touching my face

hugging myself.

One second smiling,

The next I’m dying.

I’m a twitterpated tween.

Shake it off

Check my phone

My inbox is safely,

despairingly…empty.

Love songs are no longer meaningless, but tragic.

Attempting to push emotions

& crackling chemistry asside

Trying to bring back logic 

In order to decide.

Think RATIONAL thoughts Jeanette!

Reality is rarely like our fantasies.

Don’t jump in blind.

(Self Portrait by JETTE 1997)

Stuck Again Damn It!

I’m just so angry and I’m not sure what to do with it. I’m bitter. Pissed off. Stuck. I’m so tired of being common folk. I know, I know, boo freaking hoo right? It’s just that my art page was blowing up! I booked a few group art shows, one tanked but I sold a couple things at this last one. I produced so much in that one week I wasn’t working! I set up this site, got business cards made, I’m in talks for another mural (which I have no idea if I’ll have time to do now), I already sold this little craft thing I’ve been painting on that isn’t even finished, I booked a painting party and a craft fair and learned how to hand paint cakes, First ever First ever2and then…

I got a job.

You know, like a real one. At a jewelry store. Cuz everybody knows art isn’t a “real” job and won’t pay the bills right? But the thing is, it might have. I was hustling, getting things done, booking a job and opening doors and making connections. And now, like I said, I’m angry, bitter, pissed off and stuck. Not that the people at the jewelry store suck or anything, they are really cool! I like them and I’m GOOD at making  jewelry. Antique ring Antique ring2It’s just that I’m laser trained and they only use torches.  I feel like my legs have been cut off. Then there’s the fact that I’m only making a little over half of what I used to make, driving farther, and spending 12 hours/week more on the job and commute instead of with my family or god forbid making ART! Not for more paid hours mind you, but cuz I have to clock out for an hour lunch and two 15s. I’M PISSED!

Love

I try real hard not to take this out on my husband but it’s real hard not to. He wouldn’t even give me a chance to try. Zero encouragement, zero faith, zero sympathy, just “get a job, get a job, get a job.”  And now I’m STILL a servant for someone else’s dreams. Was I supposed to defy him and just do what I wanted anyway? It would have taken time and a LOT of faith and hustle, but it was barely starting to show hope and now… Am I supposed to just be fucking miserable on the inside but smile at him through it? I hate him right now. I hate my life, my body, my tiny income. I literally am just walking around hating everything. I’m SO disappointed, and when I get this way everything else comes up, like how he was pissed every time I conceived and pissed when I bought our first house and how I feel so god damned unattractive around him, both my body and my heart,  and how we have nothing in common and how he looks at and flirts with other women when I’m right there in the room and how he doesn’t “get” art and how I’ve had to be the breadwinner for the past six years while he finishes school, and no it’s not a masters or a bachelors.  It’s an AA because we have three kids and he has to work some so we can survive, which we might not anyway with me making this little and being away so much more.

You know, maybe I’m more pissed at my past self for the life decisions that I made. I honestly at this point, wish I could go slap my 20 something year old self silly and talk some sense into that idiot! Chase your freaking dreams instead of men Dummy, and when you do chose a man, CHOOSE HIM WISELY! I just let the current take me where it would and look where it got me. Struggle. This relationship has been sad from the get go. I’m not thinking I’m perfect but damn I’m tired of feeling like this. Yea. Boo freaking hoo. I know, I know, victim mentality, and I can change things if I really want to, blah blah blah. If you’ve read this far you’re crazy, but thanks for letting me vent. Check out the art on my page, it will be the last I can make for a while.